I have been looking for the answer to this question for many years and asking numbers of people whether they were happy.
Interestingly, when answering this question, people never say simply "yes" or "no". They go straight to the arguments in support of their happiness or unhappiness.
If not happy, they list the things that hinder their happiness:
• I don’t have a proper partner for me
• I've always dreamed of living in a house by the river, but it's still not the case
• I hate my job and don’t have passive income not to work, etc
When I ask, “Is there anything good in your life?” they say, “Do you want me to compare myself to someone whose situation is worse than mine? Understanding that someone in this world lives worse than me does not make me feel better.”
Of course, it doesn't. You can't compare yourself to anyone, only to yourself.
"How I was yesterday - How I am today - How I will be in the future."
The key thing is, unhappy people focus on what they lack, rather than what they already have.
Happy people list arguments supporting their happiness:
• I want to find a partner, but there are benefits to being single
• I earn enough for a comfortable life
• I work long hours, but I love my job
• I have a lot of interests and hobbies
Happy people never talk about what they lack and enjoy the simple pleasures of this world - a free afternoon, a beautiful sky, or time with their loved ones.
Being happy or unhappy is a choice we make consciously or unconsciously. This choice informs our pattern of thinking, how we interpret the events and periods of our lives.
Through my coaching practice, I have seen numerous unhappy people remain unhappy after getting the right partner, the house by the river and financial wellbeing. When a person looks for things they lack, they are guaranteed to find them.
What's the antidote to continuing this cycle? Learning to be happy in the present, without conditions. Happiness can be learned.
It's not enough to understand this as a concept, we need to continuously track the limiting beliefs and gradually replace the thought pattern from lacking to flourishing.
If you are this person who is waiting for something to happen in the future in order to become happy, I am here to help you. I know how to do it, and I promise I can teach you too.
To start I invite you to schedule an introductory video call for us to meet, discuss your situation and develop a plan for moving forward.